The last year of quarantine and isolation has impacted each and every one of us in profound ways. Everything we knew to be normal was suddenly ripped away. We have faced intense prolonged and persistent fears regarding safety for ourselves and our families. We have struggled with isolation from the people we love. Our children have been forced to adapt to online school, facing confusion and longing for their friends and teachers. We have navigated working from home despite our brains diminished capacity for productivity, while at the same time being forced to adapt to an exhausting professional virtual landscape. Many more of us were forced to go to work outside the home, thus facing the increased risk of contracting the virus out of the necessity to earn an income. We adapted to all of these changes while also doing our best to care for ourselves and the people we lived with.
We faced death after death, with the numbers of the human beings dying exceeding our capacity to conceptualize what these deaths actually meant. For some, these deaths were distant, painful and traumatic stories told by friends or heard on the news. However, for far too many of us, we were thrust into grieving the death of someone we deeply loved.
We have coped the best we could. Early on we obsessed with baking bread, making jokes about this and posting on social media about our efforts to get the perfect crust on a sourdough loaf. Our bodies become stagnant due to the lack of movement accessible to us. We saw gyms closing, exercise options limited. Our bodies were, and likely still are, in a trauma state. Our wise body kicked into self-preservation mode. We limited movement because we felt frozen or dissociated. We increase food intake in an effort to soothe our traumatized body. Our sleep was disrupted due to profound and persistent anxiety. When human beings don’t sleep well our hunger patterns are impacted. Our brains are tired, this fatigue creates an increase in hunger craving for more calories. And so we eat more. Eating more during a pandemic is a good survival strategy.
All of these factors led to changing bodies. Many bodies became larger during this past year. This weight gain is simply one possible outcome of living in a trauma state for a prolonged period of time. Some bodies became smaller. Appetite loss is also simply one possible outcome of trauma. The changes that may have happened are a direct result of the wise body keeping us alive during a pandemic.
And now we are in the Spring of our recovery. Vaccination rates are rising daily. Our kids have plans to return to school. We see a future when we may be able to physically embrace the people we love once again. And we are aware that our bodies may look and feel different. Because we have all been socialized to unconsciously accept diet culture as our norm, we are worried about this re-entry. We may be worried to see people we haven’t seen for along time. Will they judge me? Will they see that I have changed? We may find our clothing doesn’t fit as it once did. We may feel fearful of venturing out again because we remain unsure about safety related to Covid.
And because of the very specific and collective fear of weight gain, now we begin to experience the bombardment of relentless advertising for weight loss products, diets and exercise plans. We are being told that we must get back into “control” of our bodies. We are being told the weight gain of the past year should be something to feel ashamed about. Now this isn’t because the diet industry cares about your health as they'd like you to believe. What they care about is getting your money. And the diet industry is set to experience an unprecedented financial gain, directly off the shame of the collective pandemic weight gain. Pandemic weight gain or loss should never be condemned, ridiculed or shamed. It is not something to be ashamed of or to“fix”.
Your body doesn’t need a diet. Your body doesn’t need any more shame. Your body needs your compassion. Your mind/body needs to be allowed to feel, move and be lovingly supported through the trauma you have survived. Your body needs your gratitude for keeping you alive. If we do not address the mental health impact and trauma faced during the last year we will suffer lasting consequences. If we move back into “normal life” by mindlessly and obsessively resuming rigid diets and engaging in exercise regimes our bodies are not ready for, we run the risk of being stuck in our trauma for years to come.
I offer you another option. Place your hands on your heart. Simply breathe. Thank your body for surviving this year. Allow compassion be felt with the gentle placement of your hands. If emotion comes, allow it with tenderness. Be curious about what your body may need. Is it rest? It is it nurturing food? Is it movement? Is it release? Is it joyful play? Is it allowing for sadness, grief? Hold yourself with curiosity and with compassion. All you have to do is notice and respond with love. Trust yourself to be able to listen.
And above all else, thank your wise body for keeping you safe.